Within the last two weeks, I have spoken with several women that are stuck, frustrated and living unfulfilling lives. On one occasion, I listened to a woman for about twenty minutes as she talked about how unfair she is being treated at work and trying to please her boss. As a result, she is stressed out which is causing issues in her personal life. As I listened to her frustration, I sensed that she had lost sight of what was important to her. Finally, I asked her a question......What do you want? After a long pause, she stared at me and said, I don't know what to do, I don't want to live like this, I'm so frustrated but it is hard to change.  I spoke with another woman, that also admitted she is frustrated and stuck. Again, I asked the question......What do you want? She didn't answer the question but dropped her head, like she was ashamed of admitting she was stuck. 

As I think about these women, I can relate to their frustration and know what it is like to be stuck. I was stuck at one point in my life, frustrated and filled with anxiety. I was presented with the same question....What do you want?  I wanted more so I started to do the work. To move forward and change my life, I began by writing down my vision, which was a huge first step. Once I wrote down my vision, I was able to identify and complete small steps to move forward. The small steps turned into milestones and I began to live the life I wanted. 

To move forward, you have to want to make changes in your life and be willing to do the work. It takes effort, time, sacrifices and energy to make life changes. It is not easy, but it is not easy to live status quo if you are not fulfilled. You have to be committed to making changes and know that you have a choice. Know that you can change your life, but if you are not willing to do the work, nothing will change. If need be, seek support - a friend, life coach, therapist or whatever help you need to make changes in your life. Don't let the status quo deprive you of living the fulfilling life you deserve.  Live life to the fullest. Make it about You!

Recently, I came across a fascinating novel and wanted to share some of it with you. The novel, WAKE UP AND LIVE, by Dorothea Brande, was published in 1936. What's so fascinating and interesting about the book is that the issue as to how we live below what we are capable of doing goes back as far as 1936. Living a life of status of quo is not new. Many of us have been knowingly living in disguise, seemingly happy, but not fulfilled. Far below of what we want and our intentions. 

I was hooked at the introduction. The author confesses she was a failure. She was not doing a tenth of what could be expected of her.

 "I held an interesting position, lived not too dull a life - yet there was no doubt in my own mind, at least, that I had failed. What I was doing was a substitute activity for what I had planned to do; and no matter how ingenious and neat the theories were which I present to myself to account for my lack of success, I knew very well that there was more work that I should be doing, and better work, and more demonstrably my own" 

 

Living below what we are capable of is something many of us know, all too well, but will not address or do something about it. The author addresses it as  - Our willingness to fail - and shares the formula to live a happier and well life. I could hear the author speaking to me. For years I was stuck, denying what I was capable of doing and truly wanted to do. I only wish that I had discovered her book a little sooner. 

Many of us live so far below the possible level of our lives, that when we are freed from what hampers us, we are transformed. Far too often, we become comfortable in living inadequate lives -  victims to a Will to Fail. Although our lives are full and busy, we know there is more to us, more to be done but yet, we continue the cycle. Unless we understand this and take action against it to accomplish our intentions, we live a life that becomes normal rather than living happier and fulfilled. It takes energy to maintain the status quo and that same energy can be used to live and accomplish what we truly want in life. 

The process or formula, to turn us around and in the right direction, is simple and straightforward.

"All the equipment needed is imagination and the willingness to disturb old habit patterns for a while, to act after a novel fashion long enough to finish one piece of work".

Some results are seen immediately which will motivate you to keep going.

"It is worth trying, for it has worked in hundreds of lives. It can work in any life that is not more truly dedicated to failure than to success" 

This is only one aspect of the novel, one I am familiar with and thought was worth sharing. I struggled to change old habits, became conscious of the negative thoughts and where I was focusing my energy. I wanted more. I have always known that there was more to my life, even when I left the corporate world, I knew there was more work for me to do. I am on a journey of discovery, aiming to give and live my best.

To live your best, you have to be willing to look at your life, acknowledge and question your ability, and desire to live a happier and fulfilling life. You have to want more and be willing to do something about it. You only one get one chance at life and how you live it -  knowing that you are giving it your all, or below what you are all capable of - the choice is up to you. WAKE UP AND LIVE

What I know for sure is that stepping out on faith and taking a leap can change the circumstances in your life and propel you forward.  However, I know that it is easier said than done. Your desire to want more out of life must be strong enough to overpower the status quo. I know from my own personal experiences that it takes courage to step out of your safe comfort zone. To make changes in your life, you must be passionate, willing, committed to using your energy to go forward and take a leap of faith. 

Taking a leap of faith can be very uncomfortable and scary. It can cause an overwhelming sense of vulnerability and anxiety, to the extent that you allow yourself to become comfortable where you are in life, knowing there is more that you should be doing and want to do. I know because there have been times in my life when I wanted to play it safe and maintain the status quo. I haven't always had the courage to move forward and questioned - can I do it, what will happen if I fail?

Within the last year, I made a major decision regarding how to proceed with my workshop and took a leap of faith. Prior to making the decision to move forward, I prayed and meditated for months. I was afraid of being criticized and rejected. Every time I thought about moving forward, I felt vulnerable and had many sleepless nights. I questioned if I was good enough - if my workshop was good enough.... if.... if.... if...the questioning went on and on and on. I was on an emotional roller coaster. It was a very trying time.

Finally, one morning as I was jogging outside along the lake, I had a moment of truth and questioned myself. 
What would happen if I didn't try?  
Would I be satisfied with the status quo, and if so, what opportunities would I be given up?  
Would I always question what could have been?
How could I help others if I couldn't move forward? 
Most importantly, would I be fulfilled?

I knew at that moment I wouldn't be pleased with my life or myself if I didn't try. I knew there was more to me, more to give and more work to be done. I made the decision to move forward. I would stand in my faith, knowing and believing that whatever the outcome, I would be further along in my journey to pursue my desires. At least, I would be able to sleep, just knowing that I tried.

I took a leap of faith and proceeded. As a result, the workbook is now published. Although everything didn't turn out as planned, I gained far more than I expected. Taking a leap of faith gave me the confidence, freedom, and peace to continue with my workshop. It gave me confirmation to continue to pursue my dreams. This life experience has helped me remove barriers and live a more fulfilling life. I am grateful my desires overpowered the fear. At the end of the day, I learned something about me. The more I grow, the more I glow - my internal light is shining. 

 What decision will you make today? Will you take a leap of faith?

MARCH 21, 2017

There are days you go through life and everything is aligned with what you want to achieve. You wake up with a sense of inner peace and freedom, in a positive mood, the sun is shining and you know without a doubt that all the decisions you have made are aligned with what you truly desire. However, there are those days you question everything you knew to be true the day before. As I look out the window on this cold and snowy morning, I am mindful that there are days you must be prepared to weather the storm.

Just like the storm, regardless of where you are in life, we all have those days where we question our decisions. And to add to the doubt, there is that friend or relative who will make a comment to further make us question ourselves. Oh, and let's not forget that little negative voice inside our head, whose main purpose is to sabotage and derail our focus, potential, and dreams. Over time, we have learned how to prepare to weather the storm. Beginning with stocking up on food, batteries, candles, a shovel, and salt to melt the snow. We know exactly what to do to survive the storm.

This same analogy can be applied to our lives; we must be prepared for those days when the doubt creeps in. There will be days that everything you encounter is telling you that whatever decisions you have made, and whatever you want in life, will not happen. For example, I questioned if I could start my own life coaching business and be successful. Although I have been in business for several years, there are days that doubt still creeps in. However, because each time a challenge presented itself and I questioned my ability to overcome them, I have learned how to work through the doubts - they will come and go. I must admit because of my experience gained from weathering the storm, I am at a point, where I am all in. I am committed. Now I can look back at those early days and see the progress I have made and I am still standing. I have learned how to manage the doubt, just like the storm. The more you prepare for it, the less thought you to give to it and the stronger you become. Doubts are like the weather, it will change over time.

To weather the storm you can begin each day with the following:
• Prayer and meditation
• Read your vision and goals
• Acknowledge your strengths
• Connect to your Why
• Read positive affirmations
• Connect to your support

"Successful people succeed because they learn from their failures"
~Bettina Flores

It has been a little over a month since I posted my first blog and launched the new website. As a coach and author, I don't hesitate to share with my clients how important it is to acknowledge and celebrate, even the smallest milestone - take the time and give yourself credit for being disciplined and following through. Acknowledging your accomplishments provides motivation and will increase your self-confidence.

Although I think it is important to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, I don't take my own advice but do just the opposite. I am my number one critic and don't hesitate to beat up on myself. Although I would suspect that most of us take this same approach. Far too often, we are our own worst critics and don't give ourselves the credit we deserve.

Today, I decided to take my advice and celebrate. Not only did I launch the website, I published the workbook to my signature workshop, Witness the Most Powerful You. The first book launch will be held at the end of March and the workshop will be conducted in April.

Acknowledging my accomplishments over the last thirty days is fulfilling and exciting - I am grateful and empowered with a sense of knowing that I can accomplish anything. This is one of the reasons it is so important to acknowledge yourself - it will help you to believe in yourself and inspire you to keep going.

So today I will begin to practice what I preach. From this day forward, I am going to take my advice and celebrate not only the milestones but also weekly. I will make it a habit of doing something weekly for myself. It won't be anything big, but I will take the time to acknowledge my strengths, gifts, and talents. I will celebrate and appreciate me!

Will you take this approach and acknowledge yourself, not only for the milestones you accomplish but also who you are as a person?  It is amazing how good you will feel about you. What will you do to celebrate you?